Single Parents should Never Say Never, ever…

on Monday, November 28, 2011. Posted in Starting Over, Coping (Self Care)- For Parents, Finances

Ain’t nothing like regret, to remind you you’re alive…especially when you are a single parent, and you get a financial surprise!

It finally happened.  The one thing you’d never, ever have to accept or face shows up at your proverbial front door on a random Tuesday.  You entire life and how you view things changes in an instant.  And in today’s fast paced but poor economic world, it is most likely a financial issue, challenge or obstacle that has you stymied.

The old adage “it would never happen to me,” happens.  Your ex didn’t pay the mortgage or rent… maybe your car gets repo’d or credit cards declined?  And you’re angry, embarrassed and most of all just generally depressed.  Worse, many people just want a quick fix and aren’t willing to put in the work required to fix the problem that got them to this place of discomfort.

Even the Piggy Bank Can't LookBut believe it or not, in this economy, almost everyone is going through their own “nevers,” and having to handle things previously thought they’d never encounter.  Loss of job, foreclosure or even threat of bankruptcy… nothing is off the table of reality these days.   Some folks are working two or more jobs just to make ends meet and are finding they are getting ill from the stress.  Some are even falling prey to drugs, alcohol, over eating or other unhealthy addictions.  And it’s much worse for divorced or single people as they often feel as though they are dealing with the abyss all alone.  Which is never the case.  You are never all alone.

And now the Holiday’s are near and add to this stress.  Enough is enough and it’s time for you to just say no, and stop your fretting and worrying.  You can get through this difficult time by following a few simple steps.

  • Don’t dwell on the past or whether from your childhood or not, what you do today is what will keep you sane and above water.

 

  • Don’t let Guilt or Shame, resentment and then anger dictate how your life will be or become.  You are “good enough” and you do deserve happiness.

 

  • Don’t avoid responsibility and acceptance, you and your actions had a role (no matter how small or large) in getting you to the place you are today.  Recognize it and then move forward past it and onto resolution.

 

  • Don’t be too proud to admit you’re human and to ask for help (or forgiveness); humility is the first step to contentment (more Zen sounding stuff but it truly works to admit, accept and apologize and then move on to better days).

 

Refuse to accept personal defeat.  Begin with setting yourself a specific financial goal and personal budget.  Commit to finding a local financial planner in Dallas to help you set aside money for yourself first in an IRA or even better a ROTH IRA. 

Frugal and happy is good!  No more obsessing over mistakes in the past. 

It matters little what you did before that got you into your plight.  

What matter most is what you do next.

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