You know that sentimental scene in the movies where the Dad goes in to check on his sweet little girl, who’s asleep, then he pulls up the blanket a little bit, then kisses her gently on the forehead while she sleeps peacefully? Yeh, I get to do that with my princess…it’s one of the great things about being a father.
As we all know, Father’s Day is around the corner, and for many of us dads, I’m sure we pause to reflect on what it means to be one. As a single dad, whose daughter just turned three, I’ve only just begun on this journey…and what a journey it has been to test my resolve and what kind of dad I’m going to be.
A couple of years ago, shortly before my daughter turned one, her mother fell in love with someone long distance and she decided she wanted to move to another town in Texas. We can spare the debate for now about what was more important – Mom’s desire to be happy and married, or my daughter’s right to have constant and consistent access to her genetic father who had actively involved in her life from the moment she was born. Suffice it to say, a legal battle ensued, and after tens of thousands of dollars had been spent by both us (think of what that money could’ve been used for in our daughter’s life!), thankfully it was decided that Mom wasn’t going to leave town with our daughter and therefore would stay local.
The point of this very short version of the story is that I had to quickly decide how much I was willing to sacrifice and fight for my right to be involved in my daughter’s life. I decided it would be an ‘all in’ effort, emotionally and financially. The legal bill debt still persists, but I don’t for a minute regret committing myself to that effort…it’s what I needed to do for my daughter. Two years later I’m about to make another commitment to my daughter by moving 35 miles to be closer to where she lives…not an inexpensive process in and of itself, but again it’s what I need to do to have a great relationship with my daughter.
I’m sure this story happens all the time, and often one of the parents isn’t as lucky as I was to be able to have part-time custody of my Princess. Or sometimes, I imagine, maybe one of the parents just has a personal reason (eg., lack of financial resources) to not fight the circumstances. In my humble opinion, our kids need and deserve to have both parents in their lives. As fathers, we need to express our love for our children by being as involved as we can be – we need to ‘man up’ and participate in their lives as often and in as many ways as we can (supporting their sports, school activities, or even just spending time with them).
At the end of it all, if you want to be the best father you can be, you need to do your best to be one. Each of us have different circumstances, but if we try our hardest whatever the circumstances, we can be satisfied knowing we’ve at least ‘shown up’ for our children, and that’s what counts. So, this Father’s Day, let’s be extra thankful we’ve been blessed with the gift of parenthood, let’s make that commitment to ‘man up’ and maybe we’ll be a great father as a result.
Happy Father’s Day weekend to all the Dad’s (single or not) out there!
